maybe not

There may not be room for one more after all.

I'm not sure if I can provide for more than 2 children, and I don't just mean financially, although that is a part of it. I am finding it difficult to be patient with 2. I raise my voice more than I would like.

I would like to be able to go to Noah's soccer games and actually watch them instead of chasing a toddler. I want to really enjoy Molly and Noah's ages and stages.

I know that a parent's capacity to love grows with each child, but when I think of the reality of three, I think of dividing my attention.

So, that's how I feel today.

Of course, if I were to discover I was pregnant tomorrow, I would be overjoyed.

a day off

My heart broke again this morning. Noah begged me to please please please let him take a day off.

Take a day off? You'd think we were sending him to work in the mines, not to school and daycare.

Take a day off? The phrase does not belong in a 4-year-old's vocabulary.

I am so terribly sad for my Noah.

either and both

I love watching my kids play together when they are getting along. One Sunday at Grandma's, Noah was revving a fire-engine up and down the hall. Molly picked up an ambulance and followed. When I told Noah that Molly was copying him, he got the hugest smile on his face and continued the game for a good 15 minutes.

Of course when they're not getting along, I don't get to enjoy either of them.

Noah only bathes every second night, and Molly gets a bath every evening. I really look forward to this time alone with my little girl. When they are both in the tub, Noah does all of the talking and gets most of my attention. When I have Molly alone, I can play with her and give her a nice massage afterwards. I get to marvel at her beautiful baby skin instead of drying and dressing her as quickly as possible.

victim

My blog has become a victim to facebook. I'm addicted. I'm also a little paranoid. Do I have less friends than anyone else? It's kind of like high school that way . . . tee hee.

I took the bus for the first time in a month this morning. It's too cold and wet for Marc to take the kids to school and daycare in the bike-trailer. I had time to write a few things. I think it's pretty sappy, but there it is . .

Noah is my heart. There's no other way to describe it. His joys and pains live in my heart.

Molly is my sunshine. She delights in her world, and she shows it. She gives big hugs, big smiles and screams for joy.

They are so different these children of mine. Their skin, their eyes, their hair. how wondrous and marvelous.