the commute OR a funny thing happened on my way to or from work today

Those who know me will know that I commute to work by bicycle three times a week (less if it's raining). Cycling in Winnipeg is not a risk-free endeavour, and there have been a number of close calls. I like to catalogue the things I've found in the bike that shouldn't be there and count the number of damaged "protective" posts along the bike lane on Pembina. My pet peaves include people who pick up their kids in the bike lane outside Kelvin high-school and people who don't signal that they are making a right turn through a bike lane. I think overall things are getting better for bicycle commuters out there (and lots of people are working hard to make that happen), but there is still a long way to go. I am curious to find out what they teach in driver's ed. about driving around cyclists.

The story I want to write for you today is about none of the above. Yesterday, I biked part way to work, then loaded my bike onto the rack on the front of a bus. It was windy, and I had been sick, but I wanted to ride at least a little. The commute to work was fairly uneventful, though the bus driver didn't know his bus had a rack and gave me a weird look when I stepped in front of the bus with my bike.

When I unlocked my bike at the end of the day, I noticed that the brake cable for the rear brake was loose, and, upon further investigation, it was so loose that the rear brake did not work at all. My first instinct was panic "how will I get home"?, then paranoia "was this done on purpose? to kill me?", then suspicion "was someone trying to steal my bike?", followed  (finally) by common sense "maybe it came loose while I was unloading from the bike or rack or possibly another cyclist had parked beside me earlier, and it got caught".

Whatever the cause, I was proud that I was able to fix it by comparing it to other bicycles around me, and after about 5 minutes I was on my way. It may be time to take a course on bicycle maintenance. Maybe there's something the kids and I can do together.

Hecla 2017

This is the year we took the dog to Hecla.

Marc and I have yet to decide whether the above sentence should read "this is the FIRST year we took the dog to Hecla" or "this is the ONLY year we took the dog to Hecla".

Our dog is not well behaved. She's not aggressive, and she likes to play with other dogs, but she will bark at you if you invade her territory, and she will keep barking if she decides she doesn't like you.  So it was with great fear and trepidation that we undertook the yearly Hecla trip with the dog in tow.

The kids were all for it. "Jadie NEEDS to come", they insisted. "There is a BEACH for DOGS there." (And there is a lovely dog-friendly swimming area called Sunset Beach. It's not quite as sandy as the main---dog free---beach, but it's not bad at all.)

The first two days were bliss. We brought a short tie-out for her, and she hung out with us outside the cabin. She mostly napped on the ramp up to the cabin, and didn't seem to be bothered by the neighbours' comings and goings. We took her for long walks and introduced her to the joys of fetching a stick thrown into a lake. She actually shook off her collar and lost it in the lake, so we bought her a new one at the store in the village. It was not the greatest collar, but it seemed to work just fine.

Then our neighbours moved out, and we got new neighbours. They were very friendly and outgoing (a little too friendly and outgoing for a couple of introverts and their kids). Anyhoo, they wanted to meet the dog, and she took an immediate dislike to them (mostly to the man, but she would bark at the woman too). So every time they came outside, Jadie would bark. We were apologetic and would take the dog inside, and they were all smiles. So, we thought, this is not ideal, but we are managing.

Then one day, the dog snapped her new collar while running towards the neighbours. We immediately tackled her and took her inside where she remained until I bought her a new one in Arborg (about an hour away), as we had already purchased the last one in the village. Still, the neighbours were all smiles, and we were all apologies. We went to the main beach later (taking turns swimming with the kids and walking the dog). We saw the neighbours various places that afternoon. We all smiled and waved, and to be honest, Marc and I smiled and waved more than we are inclined to, probably just to make up for the dog.

At suppertime that evening, we came upon the solution that Jadie would stay in the cabin most of the time, so that the neighbours could come and go in peace. I was feeling good about our problem solving. It seemed to be working. We still took her on lots of walks and swims, and she was happy enough to snooze inside.

Then the park ranger arrived saying that there had been a complaint lodged against us regarding the dog. She warned us that we could be charged for excessive noise, and that we needed to keep our dog on a leash at all times. I feel petty writing this here, but I was so angry! Instead of having a conversation with us about it and try to come up with  solution, they decided the best thing to do would be to get us in trouble and hopefully kicked out. We reassured the ranger that all would be well. The dog barked at her once before we got her quiet, and we saw the ranger a couple of times over the following days, and the dog didn't make a sound (good puppy!). Suffice it to say the smiling and waving to the neighbours stopped rather abruptly.

Having the dog with us was a little limiting in some ways. We couldn't all go bike riding together, and we couldn't go to pizza night at Integrity Foods (a yearly tradition). We had been in the habit of going to Gimli for lunch on the way home, and wasn't in the cards as well. I'm hoping as she gets older and better trained, we will be able to do some of these things again.

So, plans for the fall-winter-spring include some obedience training. Plans for next summer include trying to get Jadie to ride in a canoe.

schedules

Before I was a parent, or perhaps before I was a parent of three, I was all about taking time for the things that matter, or so I thought. I looked down my nose, ever so slightly, at those over-scheduled hectic parents who were in too much of a rush to enjoy their kids or their lives.

Fast forward to today when the week is a carefully orchestrated dance to make sure everyone gets where they need to be and gets fed at regular intervals. I have to admit that I take a certain amount of pleasure in being the master scheduler, and a day that is packed full of activities, but still goes off without a hitch, gets me on a bit of a high.

Nothing wrong with that. mostly. But sometimes a tightly scheduled day does not leave room for spontaneity or emotions (and all that jazz).

Let me give you an example:

The day before we left for Saskatoon at Christmas break was a little crazy. Molly was singing with her choir in Nutcracker; we had sledding plans in the morning, and we also needed to take the dog to her spa (kennel). We came home from sledding, got dressed for the ballet, then piled into the car. In my scheduling frenzy, I had not actually told the girls that the dog would be  going to the kennel right after we got dropped off at the ballet. They found out at the worst possible moment and cried all the way to the ballet (which was supposed to be a fun outing, but now no one wanted to go.)  I had not penciled in time for the kids to say goodbye to the dog or have feelings about it. At the time, I was annoyed with the kids for wrecking this perfect piece of scheduling. How dare they have emotions? We don't have time for that! (Not that I thought about it that way, but really, that's pretty much what it amounted to.

So, I'm trying to think of some way to conclude this little entry. As always, I'm trying to do better, I guess.

2017

I am leery of New Year's resolutions, mostly, I think because I am lazy and I fear failure. But change  needs to and inevitably will happen, and I would rather play an active role in that change. For example, my health needs some attention. I am carrying too much weight and my 45-year-old body is starting to get wonky (for lack of a better word). If I just let things go as they are, change will happen, but it will not be for the better. I will likely gain more weight, and the wonky-ness will know no bounds.

So, having said that, I propose the following trends for the new year.

2017 will be a healthier year. I will plan more meals, rather than fly by the seat of my pants. There will be more salads and less cheese. I am embarking on a new yoga program that I am quite excited about. I will walk the dog.

2017 will be a year of better communication. I will express myself better and listen better as well. There will be time for conversation. I will try not to schedule the life out of days and weeks on end.

2017 will be better organized. I will schedule time for my studies and not just expect to get it done in time robbed from my family and my job. If, in fact, we do have a tight schedule, I will try to let family members know before-hand, so that they aren't surprised, reluctant, or defiant.

2017 needs some magic. I will try to notice the wonders around me. I will read a lot. I will go outside. I will call friends (well, OK, I will text friends).

So, happy new year to all of us!

Edited to add:
2017 will also be a less wasteful year I would like to cut down on food waste and waste less time on social media.

blue is for girls

Apparently the worst thing one third grade girl can call another one is "pretty pink princess". Really.

Hanaa has come home in tears a number of times because someone called her that, the latest time because she was writing (and really loving) her name in cursive. Anything pink, frilly, or fancy is suddenly just not done.

Not too long ago, many of these girls donned tutus every day, and wouldn't wear anything but pink or purple. They would beg their (often reluctant) parents for Disney princess gear. But now, they will firmly declare that they hate pink.

Not surprisingly, for weeks or possibly months now, Hanaa has been declaring that she loves blue. Blue is her favourite colour. So, imagine my surprise when I texted Marc to ask Hanaa what colour balloons she wanted at her party, and the answer came back "pink".

That's right. Pink is back. In the face of insults from girls in her class, Hanaa has decided she actually really likes pink after all. I will admit to feeling a little despair when she was in her princess phase, wondering where this frilly creature came from, but I'm actually quite pleased to see pink return, possibly now because it seems like a personal preference and not a uniform.

I almost lost them yesterday.

My girls. They just wandered away.

We had just returned from the big family reunion in Edmonton: four days on the road, rest stops, hotel pools, West Edmonton Mall water park, big picnic site. They were fine---no injuries (barring a wasp sting for Molly in Nana's backyard), no anxious moments wondering where they were.

So, we were back home, breathing a sigh of relief. Molly and Hanaa were outside playing on our street where they had played a thousand times before. Noah was inside reading. He was joking about them running away. Then they did. All of a sudden they were not on our street. They were not at the two close parks. They were not within earshot.

I tried to keep calm. Noah was doing a really good job of freaking out for both of us.

Some neighbours and I did some quick searching and knocking on doors, nothing. I called Marc. He got in the van and picked them up on his way home; they were  walking merrily along to the far-away park down the street.

I still don't know why. Molly said something about Noah telling them they weren't allowed within a mile of the house, and Hanaa said she thought she was dreaming. Seriously. She was not wearing shoes.

Right before Marc let me know he found them, I was getting ready to call the police. I could not remember what Molly had on. I knew exactly what Hanaa was wearing because she refused about a dozen outfits before agreeing to one. Sometimes I'm glad she's a diva.

So, today, I took pictures of the kids with my phone first thing in the morning. I think I might do it every morning. Just in case. 

 

a change in perspective

I never look forward to the daycare pick-up. Hmmm, let me rephrase that. I like the daycare pick-up itself and getting in a little chat with Shar or some of the other daycare parents and getting to see my kids for the first time since breakfast. I do not look forward to the time between picking the kids up at daycare and when we sit down for supper. We are all tired, and sometimes we are all grumpy. Walking home from daycare sometimes gobbles my (limited) patience whole. Here's how it usually goes.

Noah talks my ear off about his latest writing project or thoughts on videogame characters. If I have the sled, Hanaa rides along fairly contentedly. Molly will jump on and off the sled making it run into my heels or throw giant chunks of snow onto the sled provoking indignant screams from Hanaa. That girl can scream. Molly will completely ignore me when I ask her to stop and bursts into tears if(when) I raise my voice. While Hanaa screams and Molly cries, Noah will continue his monologue and expect me to respond at appropriate intervals.

(Long story short - it is a GONG SHOW! It is a kind culture shock coming from an office where I do not actually have to speak to anyone all day.)

Once we get home, I usually let them watch TV for half an hour while I make supper. It keeps me sane-ish.

So today, I arrived at daycare with fear and trepidation. Noah has been having a hard time lately getting back into routine and has been really exhausting to be around. So, I thought I might be arriving to a tired/angry Noah, which is even worse than the scenario described above.

But, he had a good day today. He was happy and relational. He had stories to tell.

Noah told me about his new comic book; Hanaa sat on my shoulders and sang "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" in my ear, and Molly just jumped around and played with snow balls and interjected little stories when Noah paused for breath. I walked home from daycare listening to three happy voices all singing their own tunes at the same time. Cacophony? perhaps, but I could pick out happy little melodies from all three.

Hecla 2011

This is kind of a random thoughts post after our annual trip to Hecla Island. Usually we go with Marc's Mom and Dad and sister and family, but this year it was just us.

I discovered that I actually like our minivan. It only needed accessories, a cartop carrier and a bike rack.

Quote of week from Hanaa (while chasing a butterfly), "Butterfly sister, where are you going? Come baaaaaaaaaaaaack!"

Since there wasn`t room to pack a stroller, I packed the baby carrier for Hanaa`s bedtime walks. It worked really well. She was generally asleep within 10 minutes. Here`s my guilty secret though, I didn`t walk very far from the cabin on those walks. There was a turn-around in the bike path beside our cabin, so I walked in circles a lot. I was freaked out about meeting a bear. Turns out, I was not being silly. There have been lots of bears approaching campsites this year because of the scarcity of food due to dry weather.

Always pack at least 3 towels and 2 sunhats per person.

Bike trails are difficult for 5-year-olds on tiny bikes. We should have packed the tandem instead. The last two days, we didn't even attempt to bike to the beach, to Molly's great relief. There was considerably less whining. (I loved biking to the beach. I would have loved to leave the van in parking lot the whole time.)

Pizza night at Integrity Foods outside of Riverton is lots of fun and may become a yearly tradition. Go for the pizza. Stay for the torpedo ball. Noah was a particular fan of this outing. Molly and Hanaa liked the bunnies (but not the chickens).

I'm very relieved that no one peed the bed. I'm looking forward to travelling without a potty next year. By the end of the week Hanaa was asking to be taken to the bathrooms instead of using the little potty in the cabin. I`m hoping this is the end of her fear of strange toilets (especially on road trips).

Sunset beach is really very lovely in the evening. Pack water shoes.

Riding home in the tow-truck was not planned, but not particularly unpleasant. Maybe those new accessories were too much for the van after all.

Noah invented a new superhero persona on the trip: Canadian Noah. Sadly, I was cast as the villain: Evil Mom Lady.

what's your favourite colour?

Molly likes to ask me what my favourite colour is, but it doesn't end there. I have to think of second and third favourites (at least). It's one of those questions I answer without thinking about it, with my mind on the dishes I need to wash or the road in front of the van or making sure Hanaa doesn't fly off of something. Sometimes I answer it impatiently. Here is my real answer just for Molly:

My first favourite colour is the orange-red of your hair shining in the sun when you've taken off your hat, followed by the colour of those cinnamon freckles on your nose, followed by the golden greenish brown of your bright eyes.

growing up two

Molly is also growing up. She has always been very, um, hands on with Hanaa, mostly out of love, but I am always telling her to back up, not to squeeze so tight, that Hanaa screaming means she doesn't want a kiss right now, etc.

 The girls were playing some sort of rough and tumble puppy dog princess game this morning, and Hanaa bonked her head. She started wailing and ran over for some cuddles from me. Molly came over too and attempted to give Hanaa a hug. Hanaa was having none of that and pushed Molly away. Instead of getting upset and trying to give Hanaa that hug using any means necessary, Molly make a big show out of falling over from Hanaa's little push. Of course, Hanaa started giggling and pushed Molly again. There were more dramatics and more giggles. Soon Hanaa had forgotten about being hurt all together thanks to her big sister.

growing up

So, my little guy seems to be growing up and maturing. I was taking him to see Harry Potter the other night, and I asked him how I thought we could make Molly feel better about not coming. He agreed that we should promise her a movie too. Then he said, "when Molly cries like that when you leave, it's really hard on Dad."
He is also learning how to manage his own feelings. Noah is very sensitive to sound and light. A busy, noisy space like a school assembly or a gym full of kids (or sometimes a classroom) is overwhelming for him. When I went to pick him up from mini-U (day camp) today, he was sitting apart from his group reading a book. They had just returned from a day of activities (rock climbing, dodge ball, swimming, etc.) , and they were gathering in the Max Bell center with all the other campers. He was tired; it was loud and hot and bright. He was feeling overwhelmed, and pulled out his book, so he could escape all of that. I sat there with him while he read for 10 minutes. He didn't want to talk to me or to anyone. When he was feeling OK again, he read me a funny part from his book and was happy and social again. This was sooooo much nicer than a huge melt down on the way home.

in a rut

wake up. coffee. shower. get kids up. take Hanaa to the potty. dress Hanaa. make breakfast for kids. get dressed. go to work. work. pick up kids at daycare. make supper. piano practice for Molly. piano practice with Noah. home reading with Noah. bathtime for Hanaa and Molly. stories for Hanaa and Molly. aah Molly is asleep. wrestle Hanaa into bed. send Noah up to bed. make lunches. go on Facebook, go to bed.

repeat.

bleh

hanaa-isms

Hanaa is a very funny girl. I love it that Hanaa's language acquisition is just exploding, and I get to hear a little of what goes through her head! Here are a couple of examples, not the best ones, just the ones I can remember at the moment.

While I was making supper tonight, Hanaa came running into the kitchen crying. Molly had probably just grabbed back a toy that she had grabbed away in the first place or something like that. Of course, it was the end of the world, tears, snot, wailing, the whole ball-o-wax (as they say). I picked her up, and got a kleenex, but not before she had burried her face in my shirt. She stops crying, pulls her face away from my shirt, points to the big wet spot she left behind, and says "nose, nose, nose" in a tone of utter dismay.

One of Hanaa's bedtime stories tonight was Go Dog Go. I had finished reading it to her, and she was having another look through it on her own. She started reading: "Go Go Woof. "

mental health day

So, Noah woke up with a headache and sore stomach that seemed to evaporate as soon as I had made the decision to stay home from work with him. I'm really glad I let him stay home though.

Noah has a difficult time adjusting to change. The first few weeks of school are brutal, and we are trying to hold things together, praying that he saves his outbursts for home. If we can weather another week or so, we should be OK for a little while at least. But honestly, in some ways it feels like the end of the world. He gets so upset and angry and will not be consoled and responds angrily to any attempts to help him. We are working with him to learn to control his anger, to express it in appropriate ways that do not involve pushing or yelling at his sisters, but it's hard. He resists any attempt to give him a space or some time to calm down. He's unhappy, so unhappiness should rule everywhere.

So, I think he really did have a headache this morning. He really did have a sore stomach, but I have a feeling they were anxiety or stress related, hence the mental health day.

We had a fantastic day. We played board games, ate lunch together, read 3 chapters of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Then he received a gift card from Chapters in the mail (thanks Uncle Greg!) and we went to Chapters to spend it. (OK, so I'm still a little iffy about whether I should have taken him when he was supposed to be "sick", but there it is.)

It was great to spend time with him alone. Now, to figure out how to do that without calling in sick to school and work.

Halloween conversations

So, as usual Noah has known for weeks what his costume is going to be for Halloween. It may surprise you to learn that he will be dressing up as Harry Potter. Now, once he decided that, I decided I was going to make a Hedwig costume for Hanaa, cause I'm like that.

Now, Molly is a little different. She changes her mind every day (princess, witch, bunny rabbit, poney . . . ) Part of me wants to convince her to be Ginny Weasly - perfect right? But, mostly I want her to be happy with her costume.

Here's the conversation we had today:

Noah: Molly, do you want to be Ginny Weasly?

Molly: Is she a girl?

Noah: Yes, she's a witch. She has red hair.

Me: Well, Noah, Molly doesn't really know that much about Harry Potter and the characters, so maybe she wants to be something else, you know, not from Harry . . .

Molly: I was thinking I would be Hermione Granger.

proud mommy post

So, I have 13 minutes before the kids get out of school, so this will be brief.

I am so impressed by Noah's ear for music. Last night he did NOT want to practice, but was going through the motions in very bad humour to earn some computer time. Even though he was angry and acting out, he could not help but listen to what I was playing and play it back to me. I don't love the attitude, but I love that he has an ear.

Hanaa is now pointing at all letters and saying: H H H. Too cute. She is also learning to use the potty. Exciting times.

Molly is loving nursery school. She loves to share about the things she learned and things her teacher said and what colour her teacher's jacket is.

wordless wednesday

words

So, here's a list of words that Hanaa is saying these days:

hat / cat - both sound like at, but you can tell which she means in context (when she screams "AT AT AT" and points at the cat, she's usually looking for her sombrero.

milk / drink / snack / crack(er) - also sound alike (ack), and are harder to figure out (but if you give her the wrong one, she screams and throws it to the ground.

walk - also pronounced "ack".

dada (Marc)
mama (me!)

mum - means she wants to nurse

lunch - not so much the "L" sound, but the "unch" is perfect!

this-is - catch all question. Also somehow refers to Noah and Molly.

She also quacks like a duck and barks if you say puppy.

Edited to add: I forgot to add "UP", which she says all the time, and "OFF" - very useful with the siblings.

raise a reader

Noah is an avid reader. It is a wonderful thing. He will keep himself busy for hours (doing something that does not involve watching a screen). We have always read to him. I love children's books. I had a collection before I was even pregnant.

I know parents are encouraged to read to their kids for all sorts of good and noble reasons, but here's one more, that extra little boost. Eventually, they will learn to read on their own, and it may afford you, the parent, a little time to sip a cuppa' and type on your blog.

tuesday randoms

Many thanks to Amber at Monster Cookies for introducing me to Tuesday Randoms. Great idea! At some point I will link this up to her source!

The keen emptiness of the minivan after I've dropped my kids at daycare and continue on to work -- the echoes of Molly's and Hanaa's cries filling my thoughts.

The thought that waiting for Molly's thumb-sucking to resolve itself is going to cost us plenty in orthodontist bills. Keep that job with good benefits.

I must stop falling in love with houses on mls before we start looking.

Simon and Garfunkel: Blessed are the meth drinkers, pot sellers, illusion dwellers. wow. Can't wait for May 5th.

Do you ever feel more sympathetic towards a character on TV because of other (unrelated) roles the actor has played? I like Taye Digg's character on Private Practice more because he was in RENT (even though he played the bad guy).

Ever been tempted to or actually make yourself a peanut-butter marshmallow sandwich? I was tempted tonight. Have not succumbed as of 10:37 pm.

Random enough?