confessions

It has been a hard week. Noah has been sick since last Thursday. He was in bed with a fever Friday through Monday, then decided he was well enough for Mini-U (day camp) on Tuesday. Then he was in bed again Wednesday and Thursday. I finally took him to see the doctor yesterday, and he has a raging ear infection. They also took some blood to make sure nothing else is wrong.

I have done my best to be a good parent this week, and found myself lacking.

I should never have let him go to Mini-U on Tuesday. At the very least, I should have checked on him at noon that day and taken him home. By the time I picked him up at 4 o'clock, he was absolutely grey. He was just so keen to go. He loved Mini-U last year. I think if I had kept him home one more day, he would have been fine, maybe. Sometimes the choice that makes the kid happy at the time is the wrong choice.

Even though Marc or I has been home all week with Noah, Molly has gone to daycare. It feels a little bit like we've been shuffling her out of the way. Of course, she really likes it at daycare. She gets to play with her friends and go to the park and be her happy little self. At home, she just wants to wrestle Noah who's fever has made him sensitive to touch. I find that even when she gets home, I still want to put all my energy into caring for the sick Noah. I hate it that it has taken a conscious effort to shift focus for a little while and pay some attention to Molly who is so happy and bouncy and fun.

Oh, and I've been cranky about getting up in the night to take Noah the water that he asks for like 100 times.