I will miss - part 1

One of the things I will miss when I go back to work is taking the kids to the library every Friday. Before Noah started school, we would go for story time, and now we just go for new books and movies.

(Mom tip: I get new books too, but since I don't have the time to browse the shelves with both kids there, I browse the collection online and reserve the books I want. That way, they are waiting at the check out desk when I arrive.)

It is so nice to see Noah browsing the shelves in the children's department, and watching Molly use the child-sized chairs as baby walkers and cruise around stopping every now and then the pull books off the shelf. (Fortunately, I worked in a library all through university, so I can put the books away quickly and accurately.)

Christmas getting to know your friends

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy this entire post and paste into your own blog. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. 'Tis the Season to be NICE!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? it depends on the package. My favourite thing to do when I have time is to wrap both halves of a box, so the lid can be lifted off and the box can be reused.

2. Real tree or artificial? artificial. We are still using the scrawny little tree Marc and I bought in Toronto for our first Christmas there. Not a fun year, but the tree is cute and the perfect size for little ones to decorate.

3. When do you put up the tree? depends on how old the kids are.

4. When do you take the tree down? before we go back to work after Christmas

5. Do you like eggnog? I used to. Not sure why I don't anymore.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Robin hood

7. Do you have a nativity scene? yes. see previous post.

8. Hardest person to buy for? in-laws always, which is why I pass this off to Marc. They're his parents after all!

9. Easiest person to buy for? Noah

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? probably clothes that were just not me.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? a little of both.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? The Grinch (animated). I also really like Love Actually which is Christmassy.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? November sometime

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? no

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My Gran's mincemeat tarts

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? coloured

17. Favorite Christmas song? sacred: Oh Holy Night, secular: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? travel (when not 8 months Preggo like last year)

19. Can you name all of Santa's rein deers? yes

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas Eve and the rest Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? when people ask what you got for Christmas.

peek-a-boo

My recent posts seem to be about Noah, so here's one about Molly.

She is still a delight, although if she slept a little more, she would be even more so . . .

I have never seen a baby who loves a game of peek-a-boo more than she does. She will actually initiate the games by pulling her shirt or bib up over her face then peeking out. She waits for me to say peek-a-boo then giggles like crazy.

She laughs a lot more than Noah did as a baby. She gets excited and vocal, where Noah was serious and observant. I'm not saying one is better or worse than the other. Both are my babies and completely unique, different from anyone else anywhere.

it needs a little something

Noah thought our nativity scene needed "someone to save the day". I'm really not ready to explore the theological implications of this.

what a nice boy

I just had to share this lovely story about Noah.

Noah and a little girl in his nursery school class were having some trouble getting on their winter gear (um, more like refusing to put it on and running around instead). The little girl's Mom thought it would be a good idea to have them race to their lockers to get their stuff. I thought so too. Noah won the race, and the little girl had a bit of a meltdown (as would a lot of 4-year-olds who always win races at home). After I quieted Noah's celebratory yells and told him that his friend was sad because she hadn't won, Noah heard the girl's Mom explain that she couldn't always win. Noah piped in that he and his sister took turns being the first one in the bath tub. The kids had another race, and Noah very sweetly let the little girl win. I was so proud of him.

chore charts

Awhile back we started a chore chart for Noah, mostly as an incentive to get himself dressed for school. He had three chores to do each day, and he got to add a check mark and a happy face to his Larry Boy chore chart when he completed each one. It worked well for a little while, but after a couple of weeks we all lost interest.

Last night at supper, Noah decided he needed a check mark for taking his dishes to the kitchen. The chart had been lost, so he decided to make his own. After he finished that, he went on to create one for each member of the family. Here are our chores according to Noah:

Noah:
1. Get dressed.
2. Tidy the toys.
3. Take dishes to the kitchen

Me:
1. Feed Molly.
2. Clean the toilet.
3. Clean my room.
4. Play with Noah.

Marc:
1. Wash the dishes.
2. Help Noah tidy up the toys.
3. Play with Noah.

Molly:
1. Play with Noah.

and now some new photos

Here are some of the shots Marc has taken with my granddad's old camera. The colours are better on the actual photographs.

christmas shopping

So, I've done a little shopping. Not so much that I won't have to rush around like a mad woman mid-December. It's tradition.

I'm having a hard time shopping for Molly. There are so many things I see that Noah would really love, that suit his quirky personality, but everything I see for kids Molly's age seems generic and bland. Part of it is of course that Molly won't really care what's under the tree. She would be content with an old shoe if she hadn't played with it before. At the moment, I think the fondest wish of her heart is to allowed to chew the video cassette cases until they crumble away to nothing. Can you tell she's teething?

I'm feeling freed up to prepare and celebrate Christmas these days because we finally have daycare in place for both the kids. Noah will be going home with his friend Brayden after Nursery school, and Molly just got a spot in a lovely home daycare. The DCP does Yoga with the kids and felt board stories and music circle. I'm very excited about it. That's more than I ever do with my two! She will also cloth diaper, so that's a huge savings as well. Of course I'm still sad about going back to work, but I'm so relieved to have the kids in good hands. I've known Kate (Brayden's Mom) since Noah was tiny, and the new daycare lady is actually the mother of one of Marc's ex-girlfriends. As weird as it sounds, the fact that she is not a complete stranger makes things easier. (I may have to forgive the ex girlfriend for writing that letter suggesting Marc not marry me though. I suppose it's a grudge I can do without. It has been 10 years after all.)

late halloween story

It's one of those stories that prove your kids actually are listening when you try to teach them something.

The Sunday after Halloween, Marc's parents came over for supper. Grandpa was teasing Noah about eating all of his Halloween candy. Noah howled "no, grandpa! I don't want you to get sick." It was kind of nice that Noah was more concerned about Grandpa's health than he was about losing his candy.

and so it begins . . .

Before 10 o'clock this morning, Molly already had a cut by her eye and a fat lip from two separate falls. She is crazy adventurous. I love all this great new stuff she is doing, but boy, the daily heart attacks are taking their toll on me!

updates

So, I've been neglecting my blog lately. A crawling baby brings a new level of busy-ness to the life of a Mom. Our living room/dining room is pretty much baby-proofed, but there are always one or two problem areas that attract our little Molly-o, flies to honey, moths to the flame, etc. etc.

I don't have anything specific to blog about, but here are some updates:

Molly: the crawling, redheaded, almost walking dynamo. She is a delight and wants to be in on any action to be had, whether it is Noah playing trains or wrestling with Dad. She is no shrinking violet. When she sees something interesting, she lets out an excited yell and goes for it! She is balancing a little on her own. I am (stupidly) encouraging her to walk early so I don't miss at when I go back to work in January.


Noah: our wacky 4 year old space boy. Noah is enjoying nursery school most days, and is learning to read. He's not quite at the sounding out stage yet, but he will attempt it with much prompting. A quotation, "Mom, how do you spell Larry Boy and Junior save the day?" Couldn't we start with dog and cat? He has an amazing memory. When I can't remember part of a poem or nursery rhyme (this happens a lot!) he tells me which book we can find it in. And often, it is a book we haven't read in months. At supper last night he also remembered that he promised to try tofu. Unfortunately, Molly was not having tofu last night. Maybe he'll go for it tonight.

me: very sad about going back to work. Very excited about the upcoming Christmas season. thinking hard about new baby soon. no, no. First, implement stay at home money-making scheme, then think about baby Ben (he already has a name tee hee).

Marc: has taken up photography with my Granddad's old camera. He is taking some really amazing shots of the kids and other things.

please oh please

let Molly enjoy playing with action figures soon!

I am tired of providing the voice of Archibald Asparagus!

fast forward

Both the kids seem to be on fast forward these days.

In Molly's case, she is passing milestones left and right. She starting crawling forward yesterday. She is talking more and more. She just loves saying mum mum mum mum mum. (I love it too!) To be fair she has mentioned Dada in passing . . . She is a rough and tumble baby. She loves noise and action and wants to participate.

In Noah's case, it is not so pleasant. His behaviour is impossible these days. He will not listen. In fact, he won't stop talking. His "not listening" has reached a new plateau. He has gone from doing what he wants to do to doing whatever he thinks will make Mom and Dad upset. It is very difficult not to yell at him. In fact, I have a few times, and he just laughs. It's infuriating.

I am really hoping these two phenomena are related. Molly is getting a lot of attention and praise for her accomplishments, and requires more attention because of them (to keep her from hurting herself). Noah wants more attention and acts out because of it AND has to defend his toys. I guess my strategy for the next little while will be to try and "catch" Noah being good and heaping on the attention.

One cool thing about Noah: He is learning how to print words other than his own name. He wrote Larry Boy in church yesterday.

molly motion

Molly is discovering how to move around these days. It is very cute, scary and just a little frustrating for her as her crawling attempts propel her backwards and further away from the toy she was after.

She has managed to pull herself up on her toy basket and grab toys from inside (before falling over backwards).

I think we may be in for some trouble when Molly figures out how to crawl forward. The object that most motivates her is Noah's beloved Larry Mobile!

another perfect morning

We have entered another lovely phase of my maternity leave. Noah goes to Nursery school, Monday to Friday. It's about a 20 or 25 minute walk. We leave the house with Marc in the morning and walk him to the bus stop and continue on to school. Molly and I then have the morning to ourselves. Sometimes we hang around the neighbourhood, go to the park, drop in our midwife Toni, go to a baby group, and sometimes we just come home. Molly usually naps if we do this, and I have time to blog . . . er, I mean, clean the house!

The days are getting cooler now, and the morning walks are quite crisp and refreshing. I think I'm losing my baby weight (finally) -- must be sure not to frequent the neighbourhood bakery too often. Noah gets out of school at 11:25, then we walk (or drive) home. One of Noah's favourite lunches is pancakes. We often mix them together, then he plays computer games while I cook them.

It is life at such a lovely pace. It is obviously busy enough with two kids, but they don't feel the stress of rushing around except maybe a little getting out the door for school. These would indeed be perfect mornings if Molly enjoyed the stroller a little more.

you know what?

There is room for one more. Absolutely. In a couple of years, I'll be 37. That's not THAT old. I want another baby. Yep, I do. Marc has no objections (that he has mentioned). OK. There it is. I am going to work hard to create a lifestyle that will accommodate 3 kids.

I love walking Noah to school and coming home to be with Molly, and doing community and neighbourhood stuff. What goal should I set so that I can keep doing that?

I have to go back to work for at least 6 months, and I can't make less money than I do now (adjusted for daycare expenses of course). So, I've got a little time to create some fabulous home business.

cheating

So, my post today is not something I made up, but an email from my sister. I want it in my blog so it doesn't get lost like so many emails do. I sure do miss my family. I would love for the kids to see their cousins at least once a week instead of 3 times a year.

Hey Seester,
Just thought I'd let you know that Beah is thinking about
you guys even when we haven't seen you in a while...
Yesterday, Bridget wanted her big mommy bear out. Then I found the Daddy and a baby. When I found her another one, I asked who it was and she said "Noah bear". When I found a smaller one, she decided it was Beah bear and made the smallest one Baby Molly Bear. Then a small pink one appeared and she called it Auntie Edie bear. Then I told her we were out of bears and she got really upset because there wasn't an Uncle Marc bear -- so we substituted a little gorilla. So you guys are now a bear family (with a monkey dad!).

For those who don't know, Beah is what my 2-year-old niece Bridget calls herself, and I am Auntie Edie, so named by my oldest nephew Josh.

important events

So, a few landmarks have been celebrated without any mention here, so here they are.

10 years ago August 31st

Marc and I were married. We celebrated by going out for Sushi and cheesecake (without the kids). There are no pictures of this, but hard as it is to believe, it did happen. It was nice. We're going to do it again. . . as soon as we can fly in a babysitter. Here we are 10 years ago:

4 years ago: September 7th

Noah was born. We celebrated with a few friends and the grandparents. Noah had a blast. He was so excited about the balloons and streamers, we left them up for almost a week. Here's our superhero.

1st day of school: September 11th

Noah started Nursery School. He is having fun, I think. He's pretty close mouthed about the details.

silly parental advice

Ever since we started bathing Noah and Molly together, we've been warning Noah not to splash Molly too hard. "Be careful of the baby, Noah." That's too much splashing Noah" etc. . .

Turns out, one of Molly's favourite things is being splashed in the face. She giggles her cute little butt off.

cake

We had Noah's birthday party yesterday. I'll post more about that later. I just really wanted to show off the cake my Mom and I made and decorated!

making sense of it all

While they are going on, Noah's melt-downs seem to have very little to do with anything, no rhyme or reason. I find myself thinking: is he hungry? tired? Does he have to pee? But often once the storm is over, I find there is a reason for these things and one that is quite different from the run-of-the-mill reasons I just mentioned. Here is an example:

Noah had a huge meltdown at my Mom and Dad's the last night we were there. All his cousins were there, and we were having a surprise birthday party for Kiera who will be turning 11 next month. All of a sudden he was crying about everything, yelling at everyone and generally being very hard to be around. I took him to our room, and he cried and screamed for awhile. Then, when he was getting tired, he said: I wish all these kids lived in Winnipeg. Wow. My heart just broke.

cocooning

One of Noah's favourite games is playing caterpillars. It is often a welcome change from super-Noah/super mommy, engineers, cowboys and detectives which are quite boisterous and draining. Playing caterpillars involves crawling around on our wall of mattresses, eating leaves (pillows), crawling into a cocoon (also pillows) and emerging as beautiful butterflies. It's a wonderful thing. We do it over and over again (because Molly keeps changing us back into caterpillars).

I sometimes think this is Noah's year for cocooning. We often get glimpses of a beautiful butterfly trying to emerge.

noah-isms

I love to listen to Noah and Marc talk. One day, I had been telling Noah about Marc's job in a research firm. That night, at supper, the following conversation ensues:

Noah: I research too Daddy.
Marc: Maybe I should work at home some days and you can be my research assistant.
Noah: Daddy, you can be MY research assistant. . . and I will be your sidekick.

That one did make it into the baby book.

Today while we were walking to the park, Noah asked me if it was very windy in Bethlehem. I had to admit I didn't know.

the beginning of the end

OK, ok so I'm being a little dramatic. Molly has started eating solid food, if you can call baby cereal solid! More than her other accomplishments, this one makes me a little sad for some reason. Maybe it's because she doesn't need me so absolutely anymore. I know that our breastfeeding days are not coming to an end by any means, but . . . I can't express it. My baby is growing up.

That said, she is doing great with the cereal. We started a couple of weeks ago, and it has been a bit of a struggle getting her to open her mouth. All of a sudden, she figured it out and now she will ask me for cereal. She makes these cute little smacking noises and mmmmmm sounds (instead of the oh-so-subtle cue that she would like to nurse - grabbing my shirt both hands and headbutting my breasts).

so many thoughts, so little time

Hmmmm, I'm not sure where to start, and I have a feeling that if I give each topic that is currently whirring around in my brain it's own space, I will never finish. So, I think it's going to be a little stream of consciousness or at the very least an eclectic collection of thoughts.

vacation stuff
If I were ever to write a parent's guide to road trips in western Canada, I would definitely include the washroom in the Shell station in Indian Head (east of Regina). There is a REAL changing table (not one of those plastic pull-down ones). The garbage can is close enough to throw out the diaper without leaving the baby unattended. There is also a full-length mirror to entertain any older kids you have to take with you! I wouldn't recommend it as a nursing stop, although the Craft and Tea Elevator next door is pleasant enough for that.

at the lake
I think my favourite memory of this summer will be swimming out to the diving board platform at Sturgeon Lake with Noah. Things have been so difficult with him this year (and our vacation was not free of that sort of thing), but swimming with him was pure joy for both of us. We would swim out the platform and climb up the ladder, shimmy along the diving board trying to avoid gull poop (pretty much impossible - thank goodness for water shoes!). Then we would count to 3 and I would give him a little push. As soon as he bobbed up in the water (he was in a life-jacket) I would jump in too. We did this over and over until Noah was shivering really hard. Poor guy! He loves to swim, but doesn't have the bodyfat to keep him warm for very long. We did this 2 days in a row. On the second day, I wrapped Noah in both our towels and he just rested on my lap and almost fell asleep on the beach. sweet. Wish I had a picture.

away

I've been away for awhile, travelling and whatnot. Things are back to normal, so I will be posting soon!

just because

they're so darned cute!

things i feel good about

1. breastfeeding - nothing better for Mom or baby.
2. cloth diapering - I haven't bought disposable diapers since our Easter roadtrip.
3. being pregnant/giving birth - very comfortable pregnancies and speedy deliveries if left to go into labour on my own.
4. reading to the kids
(Is there some kind of theme here?)
5. planting a garden - Noah ate all his garden peas for supper tonight with no complaints. He helped plant them and picked the "fat juicy peapods" this afternoon.
6. drying my laundry outside (except for diapers - see "no good very bad day")
7. composting

my mom

Check out this rocking nana of nine!

counting our blessings

This is going to be difficult to write. I'm sure it will take awhile.

I am a selfish person a lot of the time. It is something that I work on, but the impulse to be generous does not come naturally to me. It is usually a conscious effort and feels forced and awkward. It is so easy to get caught up in one's own small life especially on those days when there is not enough silence to listen to inner voices. I love my kids, but there are days when I speak more harshly than I would like. I am ashamed of that. I need to learn that Noah's defiance is not about me; it is about him learning who he is. Knowing this, it is difficult to keep my calm.

So much of the day is taken up in immediate concerns . . .feeding, diapering, keeping Noah busy if not happy. Any moments left for thought are consumed by worries about money, going back to work, finding daycare, etc. And those aren't really thoughts, they're noise too.

I think I spend a good deal too much time feeling sorry for myself when I can't have the things I want like a chance to sleep in every now and then. And, if I'm lucky, it is at this point when I think of those who are not as lucky as I am. One particular example comes to mind:

STEWART _ Danara Snow (nee Healy) Sunshine had broken through the clouds, The air waswarm and smelling sweetly, One brave rose in Danara's garden had come to full bloom Verypeacefully, On Mothers Day, May 9th, 2004 in the loving arms of her family, Danara drewher last breath. She is survived by her loving husband Brad; wonderful daughter Hope;mother Marlene Tamaki (David); father Kearney Healy (Lori); brother Daylan (Alana);sisters, Ria and Dani; grandmother Mabel Tamaki; aunts and uncles, Brenda, Shelley,Graham (Tracy), Doug (Sharon), Barry (Janice), Greg, Haely (Juhan); in-laws, April(Rob), Murray (Ruth); sisters-in-laws, September (Ryan), Olivia, Jamieson, and manycousins, nieces, nephews, and friends whom Danara cherished. She will be missed morethan words can convey. A celebration of Danara's life will be held on her birthday, inVancouver July 16th 2004. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Danara's name, tothe BC Cancer Foundation.

I went to elementary school with Danara. We lost touch after university. I try to think of her when I need to count my blessings. I wake up every morning with my kids and my husband. This should be enough.

i cut my own hair last night

The title says it all. It doesn't look too bad. It has been sooo hot here, and I've been wanting to get out to get my hair cut, and finally got so frustrated, I just put it in a ponytail (a small one) and chopped it off. Then I evened it out a bit. I feel so much better with no hair on my neck!

It's one of those things. I'm 35, and I've never tried to cut my own hair. It's silly, but I feel really happy about it.

bath time

Molly has outgrown or nearly outgrown the baby bath. For the past three nights, she has been taking her baths with Noah. It is a lot of fun for the whole family. Noah splashes and plays while Molly watches and giggles and adds some splashes of her own.

The first night, Marc commented on how much chubbier Molly was than Noah had ever been as a baby. Noah (as usual) wanted to know why. One of us went into some long explanation about how people are different sizes and shapes. Noah concluded that babies who are born at the hospital (like him) are skinny, and babies born at home (like Molly) are chubby.

The next day, Noah decided to use the word chubby in a different context . . . to describe me! I think he expected me to be happy about it since it was a good thing when we were talking about Molly. I was kind of hoping he didn't really know what the word meant, but today he asked me if I was growing another baby. I guess it's time to get some exercise!

(the picture was taken during Molly's first bath, not this week, but it was the only bath picture I have!)

no good very bad day

Yesterday was terrible. Noah was pretty much on me all day long. He was either climbing on me, stepping on my foot, standing in front of me, trying to crawl through my legs, or jumping on me. I don't think I've been particularly inattentive lately, so I'm not sure what gives.

I also tried to run errands with the kids. Not a good plan apparently. I needed to renew my drivers' license, and being the end of the month, the line up was super long -- no fun for Noah. Fortunately Molly was content to play with toys in her carseat and charm the other folks in line. At that point, I should have heeded my instinct and gone straight home, but I wanted to make chicken burgers for supper and needed ground chicken, so we went to Safeway.

Driving between MPI and Safeway, I forgot to buckle Noah's seatbelt, so he started freaking out as we were leaving the parking lot. There were cars behind me, so I needed to pull out and park with Noah standing up and almost in the front seat yelling at him to sit down while he's crying about his seatbelt. Bad bad Mommy moment.

In Safeway, Noah would not sit still in the cart and kept leaning out and trying to touch things. When he was out of the cart, he tried to run away 3 times.

There will be no more running errands with more kids than adults.

When we got home, I decided to hang diapers on the line for a little sun bleaching. Note to self: diapers are very very heavy when wet. The line broke. There were diapers all over the yard.

I think this was also the day Noah started saying: "I'm going to kill you Mommy."

That's it. Bad day over.

this post is about me

Today is my birthday. Yup, I'm 35, and I'm not actually as freaked out about it as I thought I would be. I spent the day with the kids (as usual on a weekday), and planned to have a picnic in the park for supper. I thought maybe we would get some ice cream as a birthday treat. Noah was extremely concerned about the lack of cake in these plans, so this morning's outing was to the corner store for a cake mix. You know you're a Mom when you bake yourself cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles when it's almost 30 above! To a 3 year old, a birthday - any birthday - without cake is just plain wrong!

baking with the boy

Noah is an avid baker -- as long as there are no more than 3 ingredients! One of out favourite recipes is for peanut butter cookies (1 cup peanut butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 egg) which we found in the Mouse Cookies cookbook. Now, whenever Noah feels the urge to bake, he says,"to the mouse cookbook", with the same emphasis as "to the batmobile". Too funny!

she sings!

Molly is 5 months old today, and has just recently started singing. Noah likes to hum while he plays (usually the Larry-Boy theme song or music from Hermie: a common caterpillar ) and Molly will now hum along. It is an absolutely charming sound. She is actually quite a charming baby (if I do say so myself). She's very content and doesn't cry very much at all. She smiles and laughs and blows razzberries.

We have recently starting putting her in the high chair when we eat supper, and she loves being at the table with us.

belly laughs

Molly has been laughing a lot lately. She has been giving us the odd chuckle since she was a couple of months old, but this past week has been full of belly laughs. I read her a little story last night, and she laughed every time I read the word puppy (which was on every page!). She finds Noah especially hilarious. It really doesn't matter what he says, it cracks her up. Sadly, Noah doesn't seem to realize what a beautiful thing this is, but it is wonderful to see how Molly looks at him.

21st century boy

Noah asked me today what he would have to do to get email. I told him he would have to learn to read. He said OK. So, I guess that's what we'll be doing. Of course, I'm not sure I want my 3-year-old to have an email account, but I do want him to read and to love reading. I do think it would be fun for him to get messages from his cousins and grandparents. Mind you, he'll be asking me to check his email every five minutes (just like Mom!)

thoughtful Noah

Noah is in a defiant phase. At least, I hope it's a phase. He very rarely says "no" anymore when I ask him to do something. His response is now "I WON'T". Unless I ask him not to do something, then it is "I WILL". That said, we had a really good day today with only a few stormy moments one of which involved Noah throwing some grass at me around lunchtime. He didn't want to get out of the paddling pool and have lunch.

Around suppertime, Noah told me he was sorry for throwing the grass at me. It was a simple statement, and yet it meant and means a lot to me. It is an indication that he thinks about things (other than movie plots that he talks about constantly) and has internalized some concept of right and wrong -- not just when he gets caught and wants the time-out to be over.

Another sweet moment today was when Noah helped me with a diaper change. He took a wipe from the package and wiped Molly's bum with it and fondly called her a stinky baby. Too cute. I think I'll change her diaper on the floor more often.

you're only as old as you feel?

Sometimes I am sure I would love another child in our family, and then, I wake up with arthritis in my hands and I have a hard time with the kids' car seats, opening granola bars and hooking up the nursing bra. It's a little depressing. Maybe I am too old to do it again. Maybe I need to see my doctor about the arthritis . . .

stuff that won't make it to the baby book . . .

but that should probably be recorded anyway.

This is an excerpt from an email I wrote to Marc (May 17, 9:44 am):

Noah is completely naked eating a cereal bar, and spent the last half hour playing Lego also completely naked. I got him undressed when he had a potty accident (just didn't get his pants down in time). Of course I was changing Molly at the time. I put her in the crib in just a diaper (no plastic pants) to go clean Noah up. By the time I got back to Molly, of course she had peed, so I had to change the crib bedding too. It's all about pee today.

today

I played soccer with Noah in the backyard as Molly slept in her stroller, and the laundry was drying on the line. I wish every day of my mat-leave could be like this one.

a little about noah

I was just looking over my posts and noticed there was more about Molly than Noah, so I'm going to correct that. It's so easy to gush about the baby, especially when the pre-schooler going through a defiant phase. I mean, who really wants to write something like "my son only said Mommy, I don't like you 4 times today".

Noah is a great little kid. He's really funny and has his own quirky sense of humour. He loves to wear hats and pretend to be a spaceman or an explorer. He is learning to pronounce the letter L.

Last night at supper, Marc was telling Noah some jokes:

Marc: Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?

Noah: Because he was in a bad mood?

(silence, followed by Marc and I laughing)

Noah: Is that right?

*******

Marc: How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Noah: Throw a ball and hit it?

thumb

Molly found her thumb this week, and I am very happy about it. The first day she found it, she kept falling asleep every time she started sucking. It was pretty funny actually since she seemed to be dropping off completely against her will.

the point

Perhaps wondering whether we will have more children is not really "the point". At the moment I am more concerned about being able to spend more time with the ones we have.

I need to figure out how to be less dependant on the income from my full time job and figure out a more creative and flexible way to make some money. It doesn't have to be a lot, especially if we can stop paying for full-time childcare.

molly's first word is

hug!

Molly's happy noises sound like she is saying "hug". I'm happy to oblige.

circle time

A quick Noah moment: Noah loves to sing, and he loves circle time at playgroup. He also loves VeggieTales. Today, he tried to combine these things and requested that the group sing the Larry-Boy Groove. (If you've heard it, this is pretty funny.) Actually, Noah was willing to sing anything but the Goodbye song today.


Noah really loves playing with other kids and doesn't get as many opportunities to do so now that he's out of full-time daycare. I think he'll be really happy when Nursery school starts in the fall.

one more?

Why do I think I want another baby? I'm not sure I really do. You see these exhasuted women on a baby story saying how happy they are that this is their last baby, or that their family is complete. Now, there were moments in labour (yup, even in my short 2.5 hour labour) where I was sure I was never ever going to go through that again, but within the week of Molly's birth, I was already thinking and talking about next time.

I think one of the main reasons for this is that I had a great birth experience (thank you Toni and Carolyn!) - I may get around to posting my birth story at some point, and a really easy pregnancy. I felt good. I looked great. Molly latched on and continues to breastfeed really well. I'm good at the "new" Mommy stuff, but I'm pretty sure that's not a good enough reason to bring another child into the world.

The two most compelling reasons I have for not having another baby are: our finances and my age. If I could wait another 5 years for our financial situation to change (improve) then I don't think I would obsess about it. I could just wait and see.

So, no answers today. I think I'm really just trying to clarify the questions. No doubt I will have more to say about this later.

cranberry tea

I'm drinking a cup of cranberry tea tonight. I'm writing it down because 20 years from now I may want to remember that that is what I drank right after Molly's birth.

the family bed

Our bedroom is now wall-to-wall mattress, and it makes me extremely happy. Since Molly's birth 3 months ago, I've been sleeping in her room so that I didn't have to go far when she woke in the night. (turns out she's a great sleeper and I often don't feed her between 9pm and 7am, but that's another story). Both of the beds we own are doubles, so there just isn't room for my husband and I and a baby especially since Noah (aged 3.5) often crawls in with us in the middle of the night. Before we created the wall of matresses, Noah would crawl in with me in Molly's room and I would wake up with both kids. My husband was getting lonely for me and for the kids. I think he enjoys waking up with Noah more than I do.

So, we created the wall of matresses. I don't imagine all four of us will spend every night in there, but I'm glad there's enough room. I love waking up with my kids, but I really need my sleep!

introduction

I am enjoying my time at home with my kids sooooo much, but I find that haven't written anything down... you know, those little things that happen every day - the baby books are almost embarrassingly blank. So, I decided to start a blog in the hopes that maybe I would record some of the great (and challenging) moments. My current preoccupation is whether or not I want to have another baby. It's a little early to obsess about it as my darling Molly is only 3 months old, but my 35th birthday is fast approaching, and that magical "high-risk" status that comes with it.

Today's memories:

Nursing Molly in the backyard while watching Noah ride his tricycle. He is so proud of the way he can pedal now. I'm sure the backyard won't contain him much longer.

Molly's smile during every diaper change or whenever she gets to be naked.

Noah building a tower Molly's new blocks.