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Saturday, January 27, 2007

there is no white picket fence

This is my mantra these days. I read it in a Chatelaine article, and it just really seems to fit. The white picket fence is that ideal world where I would get to stay home with the kids. It remains a goal. It's not possible at the moment, but I still want it. Because that's the way it is, it is also helpful to remember that the white picket fence world is not a panacea. Being a stay-at-home Mom is hard work, especially with more than one child.

Weeks 2 and 3 at work have been hard. Week 2 was especially weird. I was convinced that my boss and co-workers didn't want me back. I have a feeling I was projecting.

Here's what I need to do:

I need to commit to being at work for 6 months. I should renew relationships with my co-workers. I should take advantage of the opportunities available to me because I have to be there. I have an entire hour for lunch. These past 3 weeks, I have spent most of it wandering aimlessly through the bookstore or reading magazines. I am going to join the gym at work and work out at noon. I think some exercise will improve my outlook and hopefully melt some of that Christmas weight!

Since I don't seem to find the time to blog a whole lot, and I think some memories and thoughts are being lost, I should take a break from the Sudoku puzzles and journal on my bus rides every now and then.

I should take a look at what I want to be when the kids are a little older. I mean, the most important thing to me is being a Mom, and everything else should take a backseat, but there should be other stuff too. When I take time for me, I don't want it to always be about physical stuff (getting a haircut, working out). I need to take some time for creative and spiritual pursuits.

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